problemsssssssss

2013 is dawning upon us......



i know...it's nothing special, but today is the last Sunday of 2012. and tomorrow is the last Monday of 2012. Tuesday will bring a new year: 2013. how time flies... i keep thinking back to those days when i moved to my final private school (way back in 2009). doesn't seem that long, but it actually is. i left the school around September/October 2011. seems like a long time ago already... *sigh* badly miss those (slightly more) carefree days. but they are just mere memories now....

sometimes i wonder...why does time go by quickly when we're having fun, but the complete opposite when we're working or doing strenuous stuff? who can i ask this question? will i ever find out why? LIFE IS CERTAINLY FULL OF MYSTERY. LIFE IS ALSO FULL OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS. *sigh* again.

i have dreamt of this many a time...a dream that will never be fulfilled: to build a time machine and re-visit my past. i don't ask for much; i am content just to 'replay' the happy moments of past years. i won't change anything; i will be content just reliving my past whenever and wherever i want to. i know it sounds ridiculous: to want to go back to the past, but i sometimes get disillusioned about life and want to understand where i have gone wrong, or what i can do to change certain things. i always have dreams or often think back to those days past and wonder why it has all slipped away from me. isn't the future supposed to be better than days past? if so, then why do i feel like with each passing day i am becoming more and more antisocial? why am i becoming more lazy? why is my life feeling worse than before? i am confused sometimes. if i can talk to someone about all my problems that would be great; but i doubt anyone will have the time and patience to bear with me. i always have people telling me that they care about me, and that should i have any problems i can find them to talk about problems or anything, but honestly speaking...everyone has their own problems. why would anyone want to add on more problems to their already big pile of problems??? that's why i always say i'm fine. i don't want to tell sob stories to others to make them feel pitiful for me. i sometimes need a listening ear, but i fear i'll be a burden to the person listening. *sigh*.....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

 
first Christmas i've spent alone for a long time. wait...maybe never before! i think this year would be the first. not something nice to remember... haha! but the sad fact remains that i have 'been through' Xmas eve and Xmas day alone...

been rather on the quiet side, without any 'special' treats or anything. guess sometimes the quietness and loneliness is a good thing. makes you appreciate the people around you that aren't by your side.

most importantly, i am thankful to God for having another day to live. be it any special day or an ordinary day, it is vital to be grateful for all the things in your life. i have had my fair share of personal problems and study problems, but in the end as long as you believe that there's a God above to help shoulder your burdens, life will be easier. THANKS BE TO GOD!

alrighty then. will not be sleeping anytime soon. gonna watch a few episodes of a Singapore mandarin drama series on YouTube. heehee

*to those who are reading this: GOODNIGHT and MERRY CHRISTMAS! xoxo

X'mas Eve 2012

SOOOOOOOOOO.........IT'S FINALLY HERE! CHRISTMAS EVE TODAY! AND WHAT'S BETTER THAN THAT? YES, THE FACT THAT I AM STUCK HERE IN SUBANG ALONE WITH NO ONE TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS WITH. CAN'T GO BACK TO HOMETOWN DUE TO WORK COMMITMENTS. a downer indeed...!

yes, such is the luck for me. damn pissed off to know that i had to go back to college today to finish up my last 'food tasting' dish. took half a day to complete. if not for this i would have gone back on Saturday to celebrate Christmas with my family and then return on Wednesday. and now i discover that i have an off day tomorrow. AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!! too little, too late now. no point thinking of going home now. too late. just got to find another day to go back. got to spend Christmas this year all alone... sad...

i have only got only one present for Christmas this year: a wonderful gift from a dear friend. Eric, if you're reading this, i hope you have honoured your promise (as i have) to open my gift to you at the stroke of midnight, then only will it count as a 'Christmas gift'. ha ha! *nothing better to write anymore*

though i will be alone during Christmas i will console myself in admiring my collection of miniature cars and looking forward to adding my (only) Christmas gift to the collection...





 MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! 

stressed much

this past week had been a stressful week. not only was it the second week of food tasting, but it was THE week which my class were supposed to present our appetizers and main courses. they are the 'more important' dishes compared to the previous week of preparing the soups and desserts. wow! talk about pressure......

good news (sort of) was i managed to get my appetizers completed before the week end, which was a close call, considering that i only managed to present my second appetizer on Friday, but the bad news was that i rushed Friday trying to complete my main courses. for sure it was a bad thing to try completing two main courses in one day, but surely given that i took up most of the days of the week trying to finish my appetizers i had no other choice? yeah, so that was my predicament. also bad was that i ONLY managed to finish one main course to present. yeah that's right: just ONE. seeing that next week will be devoted to doing costing for the four-course session, i will resume work on my second main course the following Monday instead. BUGGER THAT.

not only was it stressful to NOT complete both main courses (and in the process finish up ALL food tasting), when i completed my only main course dish it was already 3:30-ish, which meant i was late for my barista training class. RUSH TIME: COMMENCE! i was SO freaking tired and stressed! and next week i have to do costing for all the dishes i will be serving for my four-course session! as if my maths wasn't bad enough, i got to count every single thing! stress giler... haiz... >.<

i am trying to be positive, despite all this depressing times. i know....you think this is peanuts compared to working life, but every student has his or her problems with studies, me included. i hope everything will be smooth-sailing, and that i can pull through these next few weeks...



P/S whoever is reading this, thank you and goodnight xoxo

too many cooks spoil the broth

'Allo 'allo! =] It's December already! How fast...ha! Yes, yes...2012 has gone by so quickly. Maybe it's because I had already been studying here in Subang since October 31st 2011, so 2012 meant that I had spent almost (excluding the times I'd gone back to JB to visit family and relatives) a FULL year here...living on my own...

Sometimes I look back at this year and wonder where (most of) the time has gone. I mean, I started this year still in the midst of completing foundation in my culinary course, and BOOM! I am now almost going to complete my diploma course! And in between that period of time, I have gone through so much. So many people I've met, so many places I've visited, so many things I've learnt, basically. I must admit, most times I felt like giving up on this course and move back home to help my dad in his line of work. It would have devastated my parents to know that they had spent so much for me to come here to get a diploma, only for me to quit when I was almost reaching the finish line. Maybe the fact that I didn't want to disappoint my parents further was why I have persevered till today. But with me not obtaining any kind of qualifications, who was I kidding? Who was I to 'quit' and move home to search for a job? No one would hire me! So I've come to realize that since I chose this path, I have to continue no matter how tough. I made my bed; now I have to lay in it (figuratively speaking)...

Okay.....back to reality. I've been kept quite busy the past few weeks with preparations for the 'final exam', which is the (dreaded) 4-course meal exam. I have spent the last two weeks planning two menus for the two sessions which every diploma student has to complete. My sessions fall on these respective dates: 16th January 2013 and 6th March 2013. Menu planning was tough! I (obviously, who doesn't want to choose the 'easiest' dishes to prepare??) chose 'simple' looking dishes to include on the menu. I didn't see the need to complicate my style of cooking, maybe for the fear of not being able to fulfill my duties on my two sessions! Ha!

Today was BLOODY tiring! It was my class' first 'food tasting' session ('food tasting' means mock-preparing the dishes selected by the students to allow the chef in charge to taste and give feedback and make important amendments in order to improve the certain dish(es) for 4-course). Today's first day was the food tasting of soups. We had to prepare the two soups from both menus. I chose pureed Curry Carrot Soup and Cream of Tomato Soup. I did the carrot soup first; that went well, though I had to keep adding more water to dilute it as it was too thick. Thankfully, the chef in charge of overseeing our soup session said it was decent enough... Next, I did my cream of tomato soup. The recipe I got from the Internet required tomato juice, which due to budget limitations I couldn't buy, so I got a can of whole peel tomatoes, which also had some 'juice' in it. I followed the recipe accordingly, and to my disgust it turned out badly! The melted butter and flour didn't mix together as smoothly as the recipe indicated! Frustrated at my failure, and seeing my friends doing well with their soups, I chucked the failed 'soup' away and gave up. Yes, you read that correctly: I. GAVE. UP. Despite me having to present two soups, I didn't bother to go looking for more ingredients to create my second soup. Thankfully, my friend Sam happened to be doing the same soup (albeit with a different recipe), so I had a great idea: why not ask him to cook extra, so I could get some to 'pass off' as my own creation? No one said I couldn't do that, so that's what I did! Worryingly for me, our soups had to be photographed! I thought that my 'copied' soup would be found out, but thankfully it didn't get caught...though the chef did notice how similar it was to Sam's..... Hehe...what a relief! *phew* After practical class was barista training. Wah lau eh...! Already so tired from kitchen work, still got some more things to study! Two hours of learning about the responsibilities of the restaurant manager, bla bla..... Couldn't absorb any information whatsoever. Damn tired.....

Tomorrow will be another day of food tasting. Will be doing both my desserts. First is No-Bake Cheesecake with fruit topping, and the second is Panna Cotta with berry sauce. Actually, this food tasting will be the whole week long. Yes, you read that right: A WHOLE WEEK'S WORTH OF FOOD TASTING. A WHOLE WEEK OF COOKING SOUPS, APPETIZERS, MAIN COURSES, AND DESSERTS. Bloody hell! But got no choice...such is the course, such is the syllabus..... Haiz... Hope this week will be kind to me...

Apparently I heard that the whole December will be a busy month for my class. That means I may not have a chance to go back to JB to celebrate Christmas. Man, that would suck big time! Here's hoping that I can go back at least once for December.....

Right then. I'm done here for today. Got to get in a right frame of mind for tomorrow. Goodnight! xoxo

last day of November = GOOD TIME!

Seeing that it is the last day of November, I thought I would just blog about nothing just for the sake of it being the last day of the eleventh month, but now I have a 'legit reason' (if you want to call it that) to blog about today! It started well enough: this morning our class went 'sightseeing' at JayaGrocer in Empire shopping mall. We went 'sightseeing' to search for ingredients my class and I might find useful for our four-course session which will start in January. Actually, we were also searching for ingredients for our food tasting session. Just walked around and saw some (pretty expensive) foodstuff that caught my attention. I will be going out with classmates tomorrow to buy the ingredients (for real) for Monday, as on that day we will be cooking up soups from our two menus and allowing the chef in charge to taste them and give us feedback so that we may improve our dishes for the four-course session. This is where the day turned out bad: I worried about the four-course thingy! Naturally I am worried for my four-course session because I am afraid I can't fulfill the responsibilities bestowed upon me. Not that I am doubting my cooking skills, but I just have this negative feeling about it. I will try to be positive regarding it, as it is approaching ever faster (and closer!) than ever.....but on today's brighter note.....

...what turned out to be a few texts became a 'dinner date' (albeit a 'slightly rushed' one) with Sue Anne! I really took a gamble with the meeting time, as I said to meet at Sunway Pyramid at 6 p.m., when I knew getting a bus to go there would take me past 6. Thank goodness the gamble paid off (albeit a bit late) and I reached there around 6:50 p.m. SO CLOSE! *whew!* Had dinner at Ming Tien Kopitiam. Ate chilli pan mee (my first time trying it), which was so spicy till I couldn't finish it. Gave the remaining to Sue Anne. Major embarrassment for me for not completing the meal, but what the heck? Can't finish it then don't force it down your throat, right? Right after dinner we walked around Pyramid looking for a nice, icy dessert place, and I decided to try New Zealand Natural ice cream. Sue Anne tried the flavour of the day, which was Macadamia something, while I had a scoop of my favourite Mint Choc Kisses, which is fancy product name for peppermint choc ice cream. It was a bit pricey, but this ice cream parlour I will visit again. Super scrumptious ice cream for a lower price than Baskin Robbins or those gelato joints. Definitely a must-visit again! Heehee...

Too bad for me, it was a shame the night ended early, as Sue Anne had a meeting to attend at 10 p.m. I had wanted to ask her to go for a movie with me, but it wasn't to be, so we bade each other farewell. Good thing is, she says she might come to The Summit shopping mall to watch the movie with me. Fingers crossed she will be able to come! *I'm excited that it gives me motivation for next week's tough week of food tasting* haha! Not expecting much from anything that happened tonight, as we barely know each other...but who knows? When one door closes another opens. I haven't had many female friends, but when I have, it always end up with me being taken for granted. I hope this friendship will last long. I've been through enough to know that it's time for it to change... I hope that I have better luck from here onwards...

*ON ANOTHER NOTE* Sue Anne said my smile was 'cute'. Not once, but twice! She said it while we were having dessert. I think I am so short of compliments that I have to tell it here! But I appreciate it. And she said my adidas t-shirt was nice too! *Perasan case!* =P

It's been a good day. A very surprising and unexpected day. One I'll never forget =]

I MISS YOU VERY MUCH...