problemsssssssss

2013 is dawning upon us......



i know...it's nothing special, but today is the last Sunday of 2012. and tomorrow is the last Monday of 2012. Tuesday will bring a new year: 2013. how time flies... i keep thinking back to those days when i moved to my final private school (way back in 2009). doesn't seem that long, but it actually is. i left the school around September/October 2011. seems like a long time ago already... *sigh* badly miss those (slightly more) carefree days. but they are just mere memories now....

sometimes i wonder...why does time go by quickly when we're having fun, but the complete opposite when we're working or doing strenuous stuff? who can i ask this question? will i ever find out why? LIFE IS CERTAINLY FULL OF MYSTERY. LIFE IS ALSO FULL OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS. *sigh* again.

i have dreamt of this many a time...a dream that will never be fulfilled: to build a time machine and re-visit my past. i don't ask for much; i am content just to 'replay' the happy moments of past years. i won't change anything; i will be content just reliving my past whenever and wherever i want to. i know it sounds ridiculous: to want to go back to the past, but i sometimes get disillusioned about life and want to understand where i have gone wrong, or what i can do to change certain things. i always have dreams or often think back to those days past and wonder why it has all slipped away from me. isn't the future supposed to be better than days past? if so, then why do i feel like with each passing day i am becoming more and more antisocial? why am i becoming more lazy? why is my life feeling worse than before? i am confused sometimes. if i can talk to someone about all my problems that would be great; but i doubt anyone will have the time and patience to bear with me. i always have people telling me that they care about me, and that should i have any problems i can find them to talk about problems or anything, but honestly speaking...everyone has their own problems. why would anyone want to add on more problems to their already big pile of problems??? that's why i always say i'm fine. i don't want to tell sob stories to others to make them feel pitiful for me. i sometimes need a listening ear, but i fear i'll be a burden to the person listening. *sigh*.....