Saturday, October 20, 2012

messed-up situation

Lord, who shall abide in Your tabernacle? Who shall dwell in Your holy hill? He that walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart. He that backbites NOT with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbour, nor takes up a reproach against his neighbour.
- Psalms 15:1-3


That's the Bible quote of the day. Chosen by me, not by Bible quotes websites. Haha! I chose this quote because of (again) certain problems with housemates. Recently, I have been ostracized by my housemates. Not sure what I did wrong to deserve such treatment, but apparently (if I'm not overreacting) I read certain comments in a conversation between a fellow roommate and batchmates making comments that I feel might be mocking me. I could be wrong (I hope I am wrong, 'coz I sincerely don't wish for friendships to be damaged due to silly mistakes.), but I am not sure completely. The purported comments were (maybe) subtlety hinting at my previous "extravagant" purchase of a certain drink which at that time was going for RM1.00 a bottle. When I put "extravagant", it means I bought in bulk. I bought more so that I could store them in my room, and when I needed a drink I could just grab it from my storage area, instead of having to go out to buy drinks. Also, I did buy some to sell to friends who happen to need a drink. All that I've done I don't think I did anything wrong, yet they say I constantly drink sweet drinks, bla bla bla. Sh*t! Totally mocking me! When I read the comments I felt like crying. For real. I can't take such treatment anymore. I stay with my roommate, and obviously don't wish any harm upon him, so what have I done to deserve this? It's unbelievable. This isn't the first time such problems have surfaced. I'm tired of this sh*t already. I just want to live my life. I don't want to be judged all the time. No one's perfect. As it is now, I'm afraid to do anything, all because of the fear of being judged by my housemates and so-called "friends". Now, most of the housemates whom are also my batchmates are also ignoring me, not inviting me for anything, not talking to me, so and so... Makes me very sad to have to type such stuff here...

What can I do? I'm so worn out. So hurt that I could be treated this way. When I agreed to move into a new place with batchmates I thought things would mostly be peachy, have great times, get along well, but looks like nowadays it's not going to be like that... I don't know. Only time will tell if things will be "back to normal". Right now, I will just live my life, moving on, silently.....

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