messed-up situation

Lord, who shall abide in Your tabernacle? Who shall dwell in Your holy hill? He that walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart. He that backbites NOT with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbour, nor takes up a reproach against his neighbour.
- Psalms 15:1-3

That's the Bible quote of the day. Chosen by me, not by Bible quotes websites. Haha! I chose this quote because of (again) certain problems with housemates. Recently, I have been ostracized by my housemates. Not sure what I did wrong to deserve such treatment, but apparently (if I'm not overreacting) I read certain comments in a conversation between a fellow roommate and batchmates making comments that I feel might be mocking me. I could be wrong (I hope I am wrong, 'coz I sincerely don't wish for friendships to be damaged due to silly mistakes.), but I am not sure completely. The purported comments were (maybe) subtlety hinting at my previous "extravagant" purchase of a certain drink which at that time was going for RM1.00 a bottle. When I put "extravagant", it means I bought in bulk. I bought more so that I could store them in my room, and when I needed a drink I could just grab it from my storage area, instead of having to go out to buy drinks. Also, I did buy some to sell to friends who happen to need a drink. All that I've done I don't think I did anything wrong, yet they say I constantly drink sweet drinks, bla bla bla. Sh*t! Totally mocking me! When I read the comments I felt like crying. For real. I can't take such treatment anymore. I stay with my roommate, and obviously don't wish any harm upon him, so what have I done to deserve this? It's unbelievable. This isn't the first time such problems have surfaced. I'm tired of this sh*t already. I just want to live my life. I don't want to be judged all the time. No one's perfect. As it is now, I'm afraid to do anything, all because of the fear of being judged by my housemates and so-called "friends". Now, most of the housemates whom are also my batchmates are also ignoring me, not inviting me for anything, not talking to me, so and so... Makes me very sad to have to type such stuff here...

What can I do? I'm so worn out. So hurt that I could be treated this way. When I agreed to move into a new place with batchmates I thought things would mostly be peachy, have great times, get along well, but looks like nowadays it's not going to be like that... I don't know. Only time will tell if things will be "back to normal". Right now, I will just live my life, moving on, silently.....

(blue) friday

The things that you never understood why and how it happened to you without rhyme or reason never leave you; it will always stay in your mind, replaying in your head over and over again. However hard i try to get rid of those unwanted memories they somehow just keep flooding back. Maybe someday I'll know why.....

random randomness

Totally detest fair-weathered 'friends'. they will only be there when things are peachy, and they won't be there for you when things get shitty.

Happy 1st October

Oh hai there. happy first October to you who are reading this. haha! if you're wondering why i'm still posting this though it's late, it's normal for me already. sleeping late, that is. okay, so it's not good to sacrifice sleep for trivial matters, but i don't sleep THAT late...just a bit later than what i was told to. haaa. just wanted to post something for the first of a new month...

5 AND A 1/2 MONTHS to go till the end of Diploma!!!!! i think December will be the restaurant project already. wow, so fast! when my turn comes i will panic. i am confused. won't know what to do! shit in my pants will be the first thing i do should my name be drawn out to be the first to be the head chef for the month-long project! ha ha! aiyoh... tension just thinking about the future... such a BIG word. i shudder just thinking about what i would be doing very soon, which is looking for a full-time job. gahh..! tough times indeed...

okay, time to sleep. ciao! xoxo