(domestic) problems

it's my first post for June. i know, i'm very excited for this month because of EURO2012, but i'm not going to post anything about the games. no time for all sorts of stuff.

got a problem hanging over my head like a dark cloud: i'm totally hating my life right now! i don't get one thing in my life. MY life. mine. the thing that is bugging me is, WHY the hell are people always good to me at first, only to avoid me or shit after a certain time? huh? is it because i'm too gullible? too naive? too trusting of people? too nice to people? could be all that i've listed here. man, this is so tough for me physically and mentally. i'm trying my best to be nice and kind to my housemates/classmates, but they don't seem to share the same point of view. what's the situation, that they're ignoring me? let's just say i don't really know. i am sharing a room with a guy from 'a far away place' (who shall not be named), and just recently we don't see eye-to-eye. not sure why. he just suddenly stopped all manner of conversation or contact with me. we see each other everyday, and he just walks away whenever i'm near him. not that i miss communicating with him or whatever, but i just find it strange that, ever since he stopped talking to me ALMOST all of the classmates that are staying in the same house also ignore me! sheesh... i've asked myself the question many times, "what have i done to deserve this?", but now i know.....no point asking myself that. for me, i just move on with my life like normal. i'll try to avoid as much contact with the said mutinous bunch as possible, only talking to them if needed to. sigh...

this guy from 'a far away place' (who shall not be named), he seems to be the most 'likeable' guy among the housemates and in class too. don't get it. why the hell is he likeable? just because he goes out a lot with the others? just because he's from a far away place? what gives? by the way, just yesterday one classmate returned from his hometown with a new puppy. he actually brought it to the apartment in which we're living in right now, to stay with him. keeping a pet here, when there is already a cat and a hamster to contend with! bloody hell! so i just talked about this situation with another housemate (a girl who studies somewhere else, but rents a room here), and the bastard from 'a far away place' happens to walk by and happens to overhear the conversation too. what happens next is shocking for me. this bastard goes on Facebook to post a status which obviously is targeting me. his status: The door is open for you to move out .. we will be so glad.. Teeheeee !! :) #can'ttoleratepeoplewhocomplainsalot... i mean, i may just be over-analyzing this status, but i sure as hell know it was targeted at me. using FB status to criticize me...i sure as hell have just lost a HUGE chunk of respect for that bastard... *as if i have anymore respect for him.....*

well, after all's said and done, i don't give a shit anymore lah. whatever happens, happens. if not for the fact that we stay in the same room, same house, then i wouldn't give a care about him. but the sad truth is that i have to stay with him for a while more. so no point griping about it. but i just needed to release all this somewhat. if not i'd surely explode! grrr..... makes me pissed off just looking at his smug ass face everyday, while talking big around the other guys (who presumably look up to him more than they do to me), eat so little and go to the gym, thinking he can lose weight, drinking protein shakes... what an asshole. fucking bastard always used to say i was emo, i always 'merajuk', when in fact it is him! that bastard fuckface is the one who 'suka-suka' one day talk to you, one day don't talk to you. i'm not self-promoting myself here to look good against him, but HONESTLY if you know me well, i'm a genuinely nice guy who just happens to like a joke or two (or more). i don't always wish bad to people, but only when pushed to the limit. this guy has totally pushed me over the limit. gets on my nerves, just talking about this bloke...

but at the end of the day, what can i do? what can i say? it seems like all of the guys from my class who stays here are jerks, assholes, bastards... i could go on and on, but i guess i'll just have no choice but to move on with life, act nice in front of them... keep up the act, Marc, keep up the good act... someday they'll meet with a grisly end..... TO YOU, FUCKERS: GO FUCK YOURSELF! i'm not going to be too kind or nice to you people anymore! i'm going to do whatever i like, whenever i like. i'm not going to give a fuck about whether you like what i do or not. i've had it with pleasing people with every single thing i do. NO SIRREE! it's time i lived my life without having to care about every single fucker's feelings! i'm only answerable to my parents and to God. simple as that. thank you.